Am not a father, unless you count being a father to two female dogs. Their names are Lilly and Lady Bug. Am just a single guy that at the current time doesn’t see fatherhood in his future anytime soon. It does leave me to wonder what kind of father I would be. Would I been the strict dad, especially when it come to having a daughter(s). The type of the dad that will say no dating until you’re 18 and will ask all the W’s, who, where, When, What, and Why questions when the teenage daughter goes out. Will I be more a down to earth father that has that open communication with his kid. Where they can speak or ask any questions or concerns. They don’t always have to go to mom or a friend to speak about something. Just makes me wonder.
Enthusiasm, energy, I could use some advice, opinions on this subject. So let me first explain the situation. Well let me tell you a little about myself. I would describe myself as clam, down to earth individual. I don’t say much unless am talking about something am interested in. You can just say that am an introvert kind of a person.
Now I’ve been applying to jobs here and there. I’ve interviewed with this one company four time for different positions. Two of them dealt with customer service and working the phone and the others dealt with content moderation. The last interview the person who set-up the interview told me the company wouldn’t move forward with me because I have ” no energy” plus lack of customer service experience. The customer service I get, but the “no energy” am just not sure what to make about it. Have any of you ever been told or told someone that they displayed “no energy” show lack of enthusiasm?
Am not sure how to process that. Am really not a outspoken individual. I go to these job interviews, yes am nervous, but am also clam. Maybe my voice doesn’t project with high energy. It hard to try to be something that you are not.
I found this one article online that best explain my situation am in a little bit better.
Observe, I do this a lot. No matter where am at, I just like watching what around me. It even more interesting when you are out in public and just observing people. The most common thing I’ll see are people glue to their cell phone. Looking down at their screen and not even being aware of their surroundings. The most recent thing I’ve notice about people are what they wear in public. I really believe that some females leave their home without looking in the mirror. Am all for dressing comfortably in hot weather, but you should make sure your not showing to much. Especially if you are going to the gym.
You can also record what you observe either by writing or like me and others through photography or drawing. I recently started doing urban sketching. Taking a sketchbook with me and just pick a spot in the downtown area and draw what I see. You can do this when visiting your favorite coffee shop.
I usually don’t talk about being an introvert. For one, it really doesn’t matter to me. I am who I am and I can’t change that. No, I am not anti-social, in fact I love meeting people and hanging out. Yes I do prefer to be alone, sometime, and usually don’t have too much to talk about. Am shy, clam, and reserve, but it just depends on the situation.
Job Interviewing would be one of those situations where I think my introvert personality can be effecting the interviewer decision whether to hire me or not. For one, when I speak in a calm tone during an interview. I don’t show too much enthusiasm or excitement for the position or for the question being asked. Especially for questions that ask you for details how you handle or dealt with a situation. Am sorry, I am not a great story-teller so my answers are just simple. Which I think can be mistaken that am not interested in the position and can’t I handle the job duties required.
If there is one skill that I feel inchoate, it writing. I will admit my writing is rudimentary and probably never meet the standards if I was to apply for a writers job. Would you hire me to write for you magazine or news website? Writing has always been in my shadow, haunting me. From my days in college and probably in the work place. Recently, I had to take a assessment for a job position and part of that assessment was to replace one word in a sentence that would change how the sentence sounded. That is why I have this blog. To practice my writing and hopefully improve.
Concerts, loud music, big crowds, people going crazy over their favorite band and/or the good looking singer on the stage. Maybe it the drummer for you. I don’t really go to concerts. Not sure why, but it isn’t because of the crowds or the noise. In all my life I’ve only been to one concert which was to an Iron Maiden concert. Yes am a fan of hard rock. Grew up with it since my older bother and his friends listened to it. Actually I enjoy listening to many different types of music, even classical.
This past weekend I went to a concert or a music festival. The Final Four games were in town and my little sister heard that a certain band was playing. Maroon 5, never heard of them, but I know I’ve heard their music before. Well she wanted to go and had no one else to go with, so I tag along. Not because of the band, but just so she wasn’t alone walking at night. We got there and there was already a line of people waiting to get into the venue. O this was a free concert so there were already people inside the venue. After a good 10 to 15 minutes waiting we start to hear they closed the gate. The venue was filled to capacity. Bummer! People still waited but after being told by the police they weren’t going to let people in, they decided to leave. Many didn’t go home and neither did we. People walk to the side of the fence which is a street that was closed off for the event and waited for the band to play. Young and older girl dissappointed to not be part of the crowd and have a view of the stage. Me on the other didn’t mind we stayed. I could have told my sister let go cause am not a big fan of the band, but didn’t want what she spent on parking to go to waste.
So the time came, the band got on stage and people cheering from inside the venue. Even though we, along with several hundred of people standing outside the fence cheered. Well I didn’t cheer. People excited once the band started playing. Cell phone in the air, record what they could get on video. Girls taking selfie, singing along, moving the body as they were high on drugs. The funny part was the older guys just there cause their wives /girlfriends / daughters are fans. Two guys behind me, just talking about life, growing up. Nothing about the music, probably wishing they were home drinking a beer. I was just being an observer / body guard, letting my sister enjoy the moment. Watching the girls to the left of me, dancing and then noticing the girls in front of me taking a selfie and was it the photo. Damn! I hate when that happens. O well, but I wish I had brought my camera just to practice some night photography.
After a hour and half the show came to a conclusion. A fireworks show and people walking to their cars or apartments.
Today I turn another year older and not sure whether I should be excited to explore what life has in store for me. Today should be that day where I celebrate another year of life living on this earth, but doesn’t seem that way. So far I can say it hasn’t really been a interesting adventure. There a part of me that wonders what the meaning, is there a purpose to getting older. I would think it would be to explore your surrounding and to go further into the horizon to see what else is out there. Am not afraid to go out alone and explore, but in today world, how does one do it. We are so glue into working, paying bills, taxes and for me it finding a job.
Not only to explore whats on this earth, but to explore and push your limits. To experience new things, challenge your self, break out of the comfort zone that you dare not leave. I wish I could say I’ve done this, but no. It leave me in constant thoughts if I will every be able to explore this possible and unlimited options. Every year that comes, I tell myself this is it, this will be that year thing will change. Where I will be able to do the things I’ve been wanting to do. At the end it doesn’t turn out that way.
So for my Birthday I wish and hope that things for me change for the better. To get a job, explore other cities and countries and meet other people.
I’ve done everything possible to make myself marketable with the skills and experience I have to obtain full-time employment. I’ve updated and changes my resume. Answered all questions on the application to the best to my ability. Going to job interviews and presenting myself professionally and with a positive attitude. Again answering their question to the best of my ability. At the end all my action betrayed me. Asking myself what more can I do.
Throughout our history man has built some of the greatest structures ever. China great wall, the pyramids, where ever you go on earth man has constructed some amazing things. Who could image man creating such amazing structure using simple tools and the strength of many men.
Today am captivated by the many construction projects going on around the city. From a new skyline begin built, to a freeway interchange to reduce traffic congestion and making it a smoother driving commute. Every day I pass by a construction site, seeing men, using machines to remove and add dirt, to lifting steel beams or to put fresh concrete into a cast that will form the pier. What so amazing watching this construction of a freeway being built is how they make these piers. Every pier needs to be a certain height, width, and since the freeway will curve these piers have to be at certain angle. It incredible that they can get this right without making a mistake or having tear it down and start over again. Such structures changing the landscape of the city that will out last the men that built it. It truly captivating to see man-made structure from start to finish.
Hi guys, if you are reading this is public might want to wait until you are at home. Don’t want you ending up with a red face and tears in your eyes in front of strangers or maybe co-workers.
A week ago my family had to make a tough decision. It one those decision we wish we never had to make or anyone wants to make. We decided to put our friend, family member, our dog, Sunny to sleep. His little body couldn’t go any longer. I think he know it was his time to go even though none of us wanted him to go. That day he was in his chair that placed near the window. His favorite spot and I notice him acting differently. He look lost, but was smiling, he looked happy and his eyes were just wide open. As if the angels were there with him, waiting to greet him to heaven. He was still responsive and we move him to the floor where he could lay down more comfortablely. Though out the day we notice we were losing him because he was not getting up. I believe that my other two dogs knew what was coming and said their good-byes. My sister took him to the vet that night where later in the night we got the news that there was nothing they could do for him and decided it was best to put him to sleep. It was a hard night for everyone. It was hard for me cause he was basicly my life these past 11 years. Taking care of him and my other two dogs, Lilly and Lady. Feeding him, giving him his doggy treats, his bath, check on him in the night and putting a blanket over his cold body. During the summer when it was only him, it was playing catch. During the spring and summer months you could hear him outside barking at the squirrels, looking up at the trees. Just watching him looking up at the tree hurt the back of my neck.
The next day that when it really hit me that he was gone. Outside with my other two dogs Lilly and Lady on a beautiful sunset upon us. As I watch my other dogs going about their business I was just thinking what he would be doing right now. Laying on the grass, rolling over to scratch his back. Walking around and do what ever dog do, mark their spot. I wanted to call his name, Sunny!, but knowing he wasn’t here with us anymore, hurt me. I will tell you I cried for the lost of my friend, but then I also knew he was enjoying himself in heaven. Young and with a lot of squirrels to catch and bark at.
Now am trying to move on. It a slow process because the house feel empty without him. His chair now empty with only his shed fur still on it. His bowl sitting there empty. Still haven’t clean it because it hurts that I can’t call him to come and eat. He was very picky about his food. Still have two other dogs that need my attention and I hope I can give them a great and fun doggy life.