Reflection: Another year older

Here I am, a year older and maybe wiser.  Well I really don’t know about the wiser part, since no one ever listens to me. As for being a year old, that really doesn’t bug me.  What bugs me is not being where I want to be in life.  When am sitting down, or out on one of my walks, I think, “is it me and that why am not where I want to be in life?” Am I being lazy or is that the impression people get when hearing I can’t find a job.  Why am I struggling so much with finding a job?  I look at myself in the mirror and just thinking, what is it that I am not seeing, but other people do?  Am I just not presentable and my personality just turns off people?  Just this past weekend I had a job interviewer and she said something that I’ve heard before. Except she was a little more specific.  Hearing that, I thought, I can’t change that.  She said she like everything about me, but I wasn’t loud enough. I didn’t response to her comment, but I can’t help if my voice doesn’t sound loud. I was born with low tone voice and probably one that doesn’t reverberate. I still don’t know if I got the job or not but it leaves me wondering.


Happy New Years 2019

Happy New Years!!!

2019 is here and am not sure where to begin with this post. My goal to finding a job still hasn’t change.  It mind blogging that I can get a short temporary job, but can’t seem to find one that is stable.  As we were saying good-bye to 2018, I was temporary working at Macy’s. It not my first time working there during the holidays, but I wonder why do I get hired temporary for a position using the same resume with the same job history, but can’t get hired for something full or part-time. Am not trying to be negative here, but now we are in a new year it something I trying to understand.  I will just mention that retail, dealing with clothes, standing and walking for a long period of time is something I don’t like doing.

For 2019 I really don’t have any goals in mind or looking forward to accomplish anything. I’ll keep my usually routine of just going to the gym, doing my walks around downtown, journaling, keep working on my art / drawing, and my film-photography.  Will be doing a post on journaling soon and in my other blog, my photography will be posting there to. Yes, finally able to send some rolls of film to get developed.

Happy New Year 2018

2018, Happy New Year Bloggers and those visiting my blog. It that time to start fresh, set new goals,  re-new old ones and leave the bad times behind and focus on the future ahead. You can say 2017 was a crazy time if you’ve been paying attention to the news.

For me, try to always improve on the goals I set the previous year and add something to  it to make it a little challenging. I do have bigger goals, but with my current situation, I don’t list them. It would be just easier to focus my energy on those that are within reach.

1.Reading, read 12 books last year so I will make it my goal to read 20. Any suggestions on “must” read books?

2. Health is always important to me and should be for everyone. Last year my goal was just not to gain weight. Well I lost some weight,still don’t see it physically, but been told by one lady at the gym that I’ve lost weight. I will try to stay at my new current weight which is 271 lbs.

3. For 2018 one goal I would like to work on is being more social. Not easy when you are jobless and don’t have a car, but I will try to make an effort.


Good-Bye 2017 : Review

Books I read in 2017. If I had to pick one book you should read, it would be Beartown.   Great way to start a conversation about a certain topic we have seen on the news.  Especially if you have kids/teenagers and not sure how to talk to them about this certain topic.  This might be a way to break the ice.

1. The Alliance by Jolina Petersheim

2. Devil’s Cold Dish by Eleanor Kuhns

3. What so proudly we hailed by Marc Leepson

4. Death on the Sappire by R.J.Koreto

5. Death among Rubies by R.J. Koreto

6. The German Girl by Lucas Correa

7. Alice & the Assassin by R.J. Koreto

8. Swimming Lesson by Claire Fuller

9. The Stairs are Fire by Anita Shreve

10. Beartown by Fredrik Backman

11.The Dirty Book Club by Lisa Harrison

Health, I started 2017 weighing 281 lbs and now am down to about 270 lbs.  Am always unsure whether to trust the weight scale.  It kind of like the media, should you trust them on what they are reporting.  My digital scales at home says I weight 276 lbs, but then the gym weight scales say some different.  It one of those old school weight scale. For now I go with what the old school weight scale says. My goal for 2017 was just to maintain my weight and not gain weight.  I figure why make it a goal to lose weight and then not lose weight and be disappointment.  It would just be better keep working out and just watch what I eat and hopefully I’ll will loose it.

My finding employment situation, well we can just skip that.  Why focus on the negative side?

Still keeping up my hobbies.  Drawing, watercoloring, journaling, film photography.  Only thing I wish I had a table in my room where I could do all my artistic stuff.  My room is to small so I have on so I have to sit down on the floor and do all my art stuff.

Retrospective: Reflecting back on 2016


When I first created this blog, one of my biggest goal was to improve in my creative writing.  To challenge my self to express my thoughts into words. Something that I don’t do to well. The toughest obstacles for me in 2016 is writer blocks, what should I write? What would be interesting enough to get my followers to read and to come back to my blog, plus attract other readers. Continue reading “Retrospective: Reflecting back on 2016”


This is something that been in my head and resurface from facebook Happy Friend Day. Before I continue does the word friend/friendship change in mean and importance as you get order? These is somethings that I’ve been thinking about. Facebook a social network that allows us to stay connected with friends, family, co-workers, etc. For the past year or so I’ve been de-friended people not because of political views or lack of interest, but the lack of mutual interest as friends. i’ve have drop my facebook friend count from 365 to 123.  The majority of those facebook friends I have no verbal communication with, not even a “Hello!” It is not their fault nor mine, just there no friendship there.  I will still respect each individual if we ever cross path again in the cyber world or in the real world.

One thing that really bugs me are those individuals who contact you when they haven’t contacted you in years, only to pitch you an idea or a sale they would like you to consider.  This has happen to me twice where friends from facebook who never contact you suddenly want to talk to you about a idea they want you to hear. These ideas or sales only make me feel that am only worth contacting when these friends need something.  In this case these friends want to me to join their sales idea. It one of those network sales group which I think are just scams to get your money. What that saying if it sound to good to be true it probably is.

Just venting here a little.  Thanks reading:)

Aren’t you just tired of this?

I don’t think am racist, I’ve never been told that am racist, how about you?  I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of race and what is racism in 2016. Is the definition of racism lost or are people trying to expand it definition, it meaning.  I google the definition of racism and here is the definition I got: “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior“.

I would have never thought that we would live in world where you can be label a racist because you support a presidential candidate who has different approach on issues.  A world where you if challenge the first African American president polices during his first term in office, you are label a racist. Now we have the Oscars and I really don’t care about the Oscars but now there not enough people of color selected so lets not attend.  When is it enough, when will this race card game end.  Maybe people really don’t want racism to end, because people will always carry their racism card with them and use it when they see their opportunity.

Why can’t people move on? If people are so concerned that their not enough people of color select for the Oscar, well shouldn’t they also be concern their not enough white people selected for the NBA All Star. How many time has a white player won the NBA All Star MVP or the MVP? Isn’t that racism, but no one cries about it.  Would do you think?


Happy New Year!! Hello 2016

Happy New Year my fellow Bloggers.  Hope everyone is doing great as we begin and welcome 2016. As with every new year it a opportunity to start fresh, set new goals, both personal and professional.  It a time to review the direction your life is going and decide whether you need to change course.  I feel that my life needs a course adjustment.  In the next 5 years,  I don’t want to be in the position that am in now: Living with my parents, not financially stable, still unemployed and don’t have a career set. So my goals for 2016 is to first find a job where I can begin working on a stable career that will lead to something better. From there I hope everything will fall into place, my financial situation and other personal goals. My next goal which is important is staying healthy, eating right, going to the gym and doing my morning walks.  As long as my weight doesn’t go up that a accomplishment.  If it goes down, that just awesome and currently my weight is at about 283lbs.  So will see what happen this year.  My other goals are as follow in no particular order:

  • Read at least 14 books or more. I read 7 in 2015, but I also start late in the year.
  • Continue with both my blogs, this one and my photo blog.  Hope to attract more followers and have better content.
  • Also continue with writing in my journal which I started at the beginning of December 2015.  At the same time practice drawing and maybe add other medium such as watercolor.
  • I would add traveling, but that not going to happen if I am unemployed, so no point on talking about that.  I will only dream and dream about it and hope the time come where I can travel the world.

What are you goals for 2016?

The last journal entry for 2015

Before I die I want to….

38710026Am sure you seen these chalk board that say, “Before I die I want to” and then you write using chalk what you want to do.  Well wrote what I want to do before I die. That is to travel to one city in all 7 continents.  Well those continents that have cities.  Traveling is one of my goals that I would like to do.  Why? I am interested in other cultures, the history, the people who live in those cities/towns, and of course just the scenery.  Some of the place that I would love to travel to are:

  • Italy to visit Pompeii.  I am fascinated by volcanoes and the importance they are to our plant, but also the destruction they can cause not only to cities and town, but what they can do to our climate.
  • South America Panama.  Not sure if they allow tourist to visit the Panama canal, but it would be cool just to see it and maybe take a few pictures.  The Panama canal history of how it came about and the just building it is so mind-blowing.  For man to be able to cut through miles of land and to remove tons of dirt to build a canal to connect the Pacific to the Atlantic. Not to mention the lives lost building it because of disease.

As for other place that I would like travel to are Japan, China, South Korea, the Philippines, Turkey.  There a lot, but if I need to narrow it down, places that have a history of World War II especially in the Pacific.

Today the one thing that is holding me back from reaching my goal of traveling is money.  I don’t have a job, so I can’t save and the reason why I don’t have job is because employers out there don’t want to hire someone who doesn’t have any work experience.  I just pray someone will give me an opportunity to prove myself that I can do whatever they throw at me.

So I leave you this question.  Before I die I want to ___________________